Tuesday, 15 August 2017

Starbucks is the work of the Devil.

We may have coffee or we may have Starbucks. We cannot have both. Starbucks is a coffee shop for people who do not like coffee.

Q-Does Starbucks sell coffee?

Starbucks is never the destination. It is too bland for that. It is a way to kill time while waiting for a train. The aim of Starbucks is not to thrill or educate the palate- it is deliberately bland. Deliberately unobjectionable. If political correctness had a flavour it would be Starbucks.

Starbucks is a marketing lead company that only produces coffiee as a kind of accident. The chief product of the Starbucks coffiee is the Starbucks brand which it promotes via product placement in hollywood movies (the worse the movie the morelikely we will see a Starbucks in it. The aim seems to be to make Starbucks the glkamourious alternative and Starbucks promises Hollywood glamour (Starbucks spends a lot on product placement in movies) but anyone comming to the big city and believing this to be so identifyies themselves instantly as an innocent ready to be eaten up. Starbucks promises community, a sort of home from home but it is a souless corporate monster.

Starbucks, with its wobbly tables and identikit corporate identity is the least glamorous place I can think of. Why not fix the tables? Do they think we will buy a second cup of coffee if we spill the first one?

Starbucks promotes the worst kinds of cost free save-the-world do virtue signalling in the corporate universe. They promote fair-trade but treat their staff as serfs. They are prone to fatuous anti racism that reminds us of our prejudices without resolving them.

Starbucks use technology such as apps for their benefit and not the benefit of the customer. We are expected to wave our phones about in front of the till as if we were swatting flies. This is advertised as a time saving measure- and so it is for Starbucks. For the customer it is merely another thing to worry about and a constant stream of Starbucks propaganda.

Starbucks take interest free deposits in the form of prepaid cards. Benefit to the customer- zero. Benefit to Starbucks- a captive customer. Ker-ching!

Starbucks also engage in elaborate tax avoidance measures- importing their coffee from that well known tropical nation of Switzerland. The entire corporation in the UK paid less tax last year than I did!

Starbucks sell a variety of creamy, sweet and foamy cups of nothingness that pack more calories than actual food.

Starbucks has an astonishingly mean and yet complex loyalty scheme. It takes fifteen cups of froth to get one free. Compare this to McDonald's where it takes only five.

A- No.

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