Monday, 5 September 2016

Starbucks is the work of the Devil.

We may have coffee or we may have Starbucks. We cannot have both.

Starbucks is coffee for people who do not like coffee. This is reasonable except that a generation is growing up without knowing what real coffee is.
You may think this a bit harsh, but let us consider the facts. Starbucks is a marketing lead company. It promises Hollywood glamour (Starbucks spends much on product placement in movies). It promises community, a bit like Central Perk from Friends and it delivers none of these things.

Starbucks, with its wobbly tables and identikit corporate fit out is the least glamorous place I can think of. Why not fix the tables? Do they think we will buy a second cup of coffee if we spill the first.

Starbucks promotes the worst kinds of cost free save-the-world do virtue signalling in the corporate universe. They make much of fair-trade but actually specialist single source coffee producers are paid far more. They are prone to fatuous anti racism that annoys everyone and reminds us of our prejudices without resolving them.

Starbucks use technology such as apps for their benefit and not the benefit of the customer. We are expected to wave our phones about in front of the till as if we were swatting flies. This is advertised as a time saving measure- and so it is for Starbucks. For the customer it is merely another thing to worry about and a constant stream of Starbucks propaganda.

Starbucks take interest free deposits in the form of prepaid cards. Benefit to the customer- zero. Benefit to Starbucks- a captive customer. Ker-ching!

Starbucks engage in elaborate tax avoidance measures- importing their coffee from that well known tropical nation of Switzerland. The entire corporation in the UK paid less tax than I did!

On top of all of this- Starbucks cannot sell a decent cup of coffee! They sell a variety of creamy, sweet and foamy cups of nothingness that pack more calories than a real meal. None of them are coffee.

Starbucks is expensive and has an astonishingly mean and yet complex loyalty scheme. It takes fifteen cups of froth to get one free. Compare this to McDonald's where it takes only five.

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